Kroger vs Albertsons

About 1978, after interviewing at the local Holiday Inn, I was offered at job at the new grocery store coming to our Mississippi town, a Kroger. Up until then it was maybe a Piggly Wiggly. I was a checker and a stocker. My career at Kroger was tumultuous, and therefore, thankfully, brief. I resigned on the heels of a clandestine evaluation by a Kroger employee.

One late night amidst the Milk wars of Mississippi, I was the only checker faced with a long line of shoppers who had arrived in hopes of new shipments of Milk. Milk was not a finite product, mind you, it was just a little cheaper during the competition of the aforementioned wars. One of the inhabitants of the line at my register, the only open register, was a Kroger employee from another locale. Unbeknownst to me, he was grading me on my performance during the checkout. Was I saying the fifty-two required phrases that all Kroger cultists verbalize to each prospective convert? I did not. The "did you find your visit productive was everything to your satisfaction were the avocados appropriately firm would you like anything else and how about a carry out no ok then how about the new plastic bags because they are much more environmentally safe" statements. Mr Sisk called me to the upper room, the one behind the dark windows located above the floor at the top of the stairs that start by the clock and the blue printed posters from the Department of Labor. And I was reprimanded. Shortly thereafter I terminated my employment with Kroger.

Nevertheless, I am impartial.

We have a Kroger and an Albertsons nearby. Yesterday, I visited both. In the same outing.

Whereby Albertsons did not have the green onions I was seeking, I was forced to make another grocery stop at their competitor, Kroger. Kroger had the green onions.

Kroger 1 Albertsons 0

Both Kroger and Albertsons have the Icehouse Cookies, the thick, white cake cookies with colored icing to match the season that come in the clear plastic boxes located in or near the produce section.

Kroger 2 Albertsons 1

However, Albertsons has the superior self-checkout line. This is due to one significant fact or, better said, one less step in the self-checkout process. At Albertsons, after the computer reads the barcode you are permitted the luxury of placing your product directly into the plastic bag.

Not so, poor Kroger. You add a step and make me rub my purchased product on the "yellow pad" which is black because there is no longer any yellow because of all of the rubbing. The transgression is not in the color fade but in the required rubbing. Because I am forced to engage in the demaginitization process(Why must I demaginitize my produce?) of my purchase by rubbing my bunch of green onions onto the rubber pad, I award two points to Albertsons.

Kroger 2 Albertsons 3

So far.

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I'm neither a staunch fan nor vehement foe of Anna Quindlen, writer for Newsweek. What she wrote in her "The Last Word" column in the December 26th issue of Newsweek was insightful. Amidst the controversy of whether there is an attack on Christmas or not and whether the retailers of America are in collusion with the conspirators she says,


O ye of little faith, who believe that somehow the birth of Christ is dependent upon recognition in a circular from OfficeMax."